I have to wonder whether the following might happen:

1. The Department of Justice  is successful in its suit to block the proposed AT&T&T merger or AT&T gives up, pays T-Mobile the $6B cancellation fee; and then

(….hear in your mind’s ear the ethereal sounds of harps and chimes….)

2. King Deutsche Telekom–disappointed at the loss of suitor King AT&T–continues to peddle Princess T-Mobile as a bride for some other lessor noble suitor; and then

3. Prince Sprint steps up says to Princess T-Mobile, ‘Oh, please marry me, Highness!’;  but at about the same  time then

4. Prince Sprint suddenly remembers that he’s already married to an ugly wife, named Countess Nextel; and then

5. Prince Sprint calls the Royal divorce lawyers to rid itself of Countess Nextel (really, to profitably free himself of the Countess’s land sites and frequencies) to uses the divorce settlement to help finance the ‘reverse dowry’ it offered to King Deutsche Telekom); and then

6. Prince Sprint and Countess Nextel go their separate ways (likely some lesser suitor will step up to protect Nextel’s honor and propose marriage); and then

7. Prince Sprint and Princess T-Mobile wed uniting their lesser kingdoms into one land, and then

8. Many of Princess T-Mobile’s hand maidens (they’re called employees in T-Mobiledom) find themselves put out of the castle, while the lucky few other retainers are invited to pledge their allegiance the court contractors of Prince Sprint, but

9. The serfs (oddly called ‘subscribers’ for some strange reason) in the newly combined Kingdom of SpriT-Mobile see no difference in their lives.  They continue to pay their monthly tribute to the Prince and Princess to be allowed access to the expanded lands of Kingdom and the privilege of communicating with other serfs of SprinT-Mobile, and serfs in the other aligned Kingdoms.

The new Royal couple might even have their own Royal Coat of Arms:

…and be known by the Hollywood name of “Sprin-Tee”!

One has to wonder when such a story might come true!  For the meantime, this is just a fanciful parody.  Yup…just a parody.


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